Benefit of Doubt

For the longest time in my life or I can safely say 'always',
I strongly believed in the good residing inside every person and strove to always seek to find and focus on that.
The benefit of doubt I held for people was the good in them, irrespective of anything.
The benefit of doubt I hold for people now though, seems to have transfigured into noticing the evil residing in every person.
It's a thought that's been wording itself as the title suggests since about a week now.
And here I am, exploring what it means and where it leaves me.
I hope that someday the benefit of doubt I can hold for people can say 'it is what it is' without needing the labels of good or evil and I know it is possible because for a brief moment of a period that I spent doing nothing but reflect, it came naturally to me to see things thus.
Now though, as I see myself getting more and more entwined in the affairs of the world, I also sense in me the other side wanting to be known and held so here I am, trying to ease myself with this discovery.
As I learn to behold the kernels of "evil" in others and acknowledging them, I learn also to see them reflected in me and how they arise in moments of various permutations and combinations of time and space.
I know not where I am going with all of this but I hope to continue to work on being a better person, something I sense myself degrading in, faintly yet steadily.
Given the responsibilities I feel more ready to hold than ever, there is always a part of me that senses a better way to do it all, the sense that had me cop out of the norm in the first place.
I don't really see myself exploring it as I perhaps should have, religiously, as all thinkers and inventors may have done because a large part of me yearns to stay connected and be one with the all and the energy that it takes to do that leaves not much to otherwise creatively exploit.
I ramble on.
The reassuring thing is that I'm sailing unknown waters again and with all the turbulence it brings, I hope, to above all continue to see the magic in life and the thoroughly spunky infused way the universe shows up now and then, helping me stay afloat in a life that may otherwise be cause for easy delirium. Or maybe not? Haha, I'll save that doubt for another time.
For now, as the knots within unwind a bit and ease up a little, a voice within roars forth- Brrrring it on!