Help!

Something's off.
I know I am not what I am seeing myself as
Nor do I want to go there into negativity
What I am required to do matches not what I want to do
And there lies the conflict.
Everything seemed just fine until suddenly (rather gradually?) I am resisting what I naturally did
Where's the gap?
Accepting what is?
How to work around it? With it?
Why not bare it all as is? Difficult. Inexpressible. Subtle treacheries.
Why the games and the deception in the veil of half-truths?
Getting stuck in one's own game. That's not what I can do. Play.
Play. There's a way to play though, baring everything that you've got to say.
Getting empty each time and then observing and listening to the Universe's melodies filling you again.
Renewing each moment. Joyful play!
Where do I go from here?
I don't want to leave this way
I'd rather stay and improve in some way?
Me or what's around me? Where's the cue?
Help me!
Can't talk about it. Will cry. Not knowing why.
Cry. Wanna cry. Let flow.
That's the way to go. To lighten up.
The dam's full to the brim.
Don't want to risk flooding over. Not here. No one.
Not electronically. Fully, physically.
Opened a bit, he didn't deserve it. Gratitude to you for letting me be.
Don't know why do I have to cry, not controllable this one, a relief.
Though wish for a place for my weaknesses for someone to see, a belief.
Damn the dam.
Unknowingly builds itself and surprises outta the blue.
Dam the dam.
Keep the connection flowing.
Each moment all-knowing.
The connection is showing.

"Reema. Fight!"
Time for some transformation. Right?
So dear Universe, work your magic in light or night.
I'm listening and ready, come what might.