He is himself of a kind that I cannot be. All the more a reason to want to be with him, a wish from me. The same goes for she. Because on earth right now, there's nothing else for me to do but to be with you. To be deserving of you, I've gotta work on myself and that is the only thing I've gotta do with my time on earth. Everything else will be a gift, a side-product of the churn of the self and I will not be partaking of it because my gift will be to become worthy of you and hence to be able to be with you.
Ahoyyy therrre! Welcom'aboard ze ship fer an adventurrre ride'o'magic. If'ye find'yerself resonatin'wit' or'inspired wit'any o'ze thots'expressed 'ere, be'glad to'ear from ye. Might've picked out some'o'yer thots y'know? Makin'ze lovvvely world'ere feel looove for'tself, one cap'n at'a'time, one dreamship at'a'time; that's'ze Thunderbolt's dream. What'be yerrrs'...me wonderrrs..?
With You
He is himself of a kind that I cannot be. All the more a reason to want to be with him, a wish from me. The same goes for she. Because on earth right now, there's nothing else for me to do but to be with you. To be deserving of you, I've gotta work on myself and that is the only thing I've gotta do with my time on earth. Everything else will be a gift, a side-product of the churn of the self and I will not be partaking of it because my gift will be to become worthy of you and hence to be able to be with you.
Essence in Context
When I am alone,
I am Krishna and Radha's child;
I've adopted them as my parents,
Because I understand and love them more than I have understood anyone else.
When I am with an individual,
I am the clarifying agent;
I've adopted that as my professional job,
Because I have the tools it takes for that kind of work~
When I am with people I know,
I am the connector;
I've adopted that as my personal job,
Because that's what I love to do!
When I am around people I do not know,
I am nobody;
A person that fills in the gap,
Someone that does the work nobody wants to do?
Thus in essence,
I am Krishna's flute,
His true friend, a girl;
Because it has always ached me to see his name empty on moving lips,
His name thrown around on Earth with no meaning, no love,
I believe I have understood him,
And I'd love the world to understand him too...
A feeling I've adopted in this life on Earth
His name thrown around on Earth with no meaning, no love,
I believe I have understood him,
And I'd love the world to understand him too...
A feeling I've adopted in this life on Earth
Fishy!
Isn't air for us like water for fish?
Something we are surrounded by so much that we don't see and forget to acknowledge it?
And isn't water for us like air for fish?
Something that we can see, that sustains us?
Now imagine if you had to talk to a fish:
For you water is right there. Visible.
And you'll ask: Hey! How's the water?
The fish may just wonder what the hell is this
Four-dangling-things-with-a-melon-on-top-fellow talkin' about?
Just the way we would have responded;
If the fish had asked us: Hey! How's the air?
And we would have wondered what the hell is this
Slimy-single-shape-of-a-thing rambling about?
But no.
Thanks to our urge to know and experience life on Earth,
We have Science.
Thanks to our urge to know and experience life on Earth,
We have Science.
And we know that this strange feeling of this invisible presence around us,
That keeps changing its moods and tries to communicate to us,
By getting 'cold' or 'hot' and 'breezy' or 'stormy';
Is called 'Air'.
Is called 'Air'.
So! We will tell the fish: The air is supercool i-don't-know-you-yet dude!
Because we have the ability to understand what we cannot see.
Aha! Now do I understand what David Foster Wallace meant!
When he used the fish story to begin his speech.
For those who prefer watching, click here.
And YET,
the fish and us
both breathe air and need water for the same purposes innit?
the fish and us
both breathe air and need water for the same purposes innit?
We cannot survive without air for long while in case of water,
we can hold out for as long as possible until we find a source.
Funny how air can be water for someone while water can be air for another eh?
Does there really then remain any difference between air and water?
Seems like only in different contexts,
That air and water can have different experiences...
That air and water can have different experiences...
Kinda like us eh?
When we change the surrounding,
the context, the space and time in which we place ourselves,
When we change the surrounding,
the context, the space and time in which we place ourselves,
we begin to see different sides of us no?
Coming back to FISH,
While the fish cannot survive without water when pulled out of water;
they cannot survive on air even if that is what they have got all around them.
They have no option, but to die.
Strange eh?
WAIT A MINUTE.
A moment of pattern is forming.
Just stay with me awhile here:
A moment of pattern is forming.
Just stay with me awhile here:
What if the fish was a species designed in process;
and as more and more species were designed to do some or the other work,
every next species was designed taking care of some drawback from the previously designed species o.O?
and as more and more species were designed to do some or the other work,
every next species was designed taking care of some drawback from the previously designed species o.O?
WHAT IF?
WHAT IF?!
WHAT IF?!
Whoa.
Bazooka moment.
Creative Evolution
O.O
Hmm, not that one species is more important than the other eh?
Just that each is complete in itself for the purpose they were made?
And somehow if what all the religions have been screaming about
That 'humans' are the most preferred species by 'God',
If we take them at their word,
And If we consider Darwin's theory too;
That 'humans' are the most preferred species by 'God',
If we take them at their word,
And If we consider Darwin's theory too;
The only thing that makes sense is that 'God' has followed a design process to create this world
And she kept on designing as per her wish and the 'programs' he wanted to be surrounded by
And gradually she got to a point where he realised,
That she had ended up creating a species that looked just like him
And that she had inadvertently created a potential god that had all the powers he had.
And that's when the bazooka moment of satisfaction may have happened for him, perhaps?
That Hey!
This was unexpected?
I can actually sit back and totally relax
while the Universe expands and contracts on its own?!
And she kept on designing as per her wish and the 'programs' he wanted to be surrounded by
And gradually she got to a point where he realised,
That she had ended up creating a species that looked just like him
And that she had inadvertently created a potential god that had all the powers he had.
And that's when the bazooka moment of satisfaction may have happened for him, perhaps?
That Hey!
This was unexpected?
I can actually sit back and totally relax
while the Universe expands and contracts on its own?!
How?
If we stay with this line of thought a bit more;
What stops us from this possibility that,
If she has sat back satisfied with her design,
The only reason can be that she is amusedly waiting for us
To realise the potential that we have,
To be like him, yet a different unique individuality?
Is that what sooooo very many gods are all about?
Is that what those incarnations are all about?
(Is that what THIS was all about Universe?)
Getting back to God,
What stops us from this possibility that,
If she has sat back satisfied with her design,
The only reason can be that she is amusedly waiting for us
To realise the potential that we have,
To be like him, yet a different unique individuality?
Is that what sooooo very many gods are all about?
Is that what those incarnations are all about?
(Is that what THIS was all about Universe?)
Getting back to God,
He must have then wondered,
let me watch new gods unfurl as they realise the potential of creating themselves anew;
and I'll just hang around watching them surprise themselves and me outta our wits!
I will guide them when I feel they need it from my own experience of this process
(a little nudge does no harm eh?)
or when they call out into the void for help~
let me watch new gods unfurl as they realise the potential of creating themselves anew;
and I'll just hang around watching them surprise themselves and me outta our wits!
I will guide them when I feel they need it from my own experience of this process
(a little nudge does no harm eh?)
or when they call out into the void for help~
"Ask. And you shall receive"
Eh?
Eh?
Eh?
Eh?
Eh?
Eh?
O.O
Evolutionary Creation
UNIVERSE!
You are super fishy!
You are super fishy!
I know that I started writing about fishes and humans
and the kind of amusing conversation they would have,
but YOU have totally ended up blowing my mind off.
and the kind of amusing conversation they would have,
but YOU have totally ended up blowing my mind off.
A BIG SALUTE!!!
Well, thank you for being so kind in sharing your secrets with me.
I just hope that those who may understand, find this place welcoming.
But I know, that's something I shouldn't worry about
'cos you're the one handling the guiding bit eh ye sneaky Universe? XD
'cos you're the one handling the guiding bit eh ye sneaky Universe? XD
Reminds me of this thing you said to Arjuna about work in the Gita.
Allow me to share it with YOU
who are privy to this strangely amusing revelation;
who are privy to this strangely amusing revelation;
A superb advice given by Krishna to Arjuna
In this new translation of the Gita for contemporary times by Rohini Gupta, right here
In this new translation of the Gita for contemporary times by Rohini Gupta, right here
Not a coincidence eh that today, this very day, is being celebrated as 'Gita Jayanti'?
The day when the Gita was revealed to Arjuna by Krishna about 5000 years ago.
According to latest information as per Rohini Gupta, precisely in the year 3102 B.C.
Haha!
(I'm so running out of expressions to switching lines of thought in this crazy post, anyway)
Now we have this "fishy" line of thought with us in this moment
that may become something of importance for the future generations?
(I'm so running out of expressions to switching lines of thought in this crazy post, anyway)
Now we have this "fishy" line of thought with us in this moment
that may become something of importance for the future generations?
Who knows?
The only thing I know is that I am supercalifragilisticexpialidociously blown over!
By the Universe's endless kindness in being right here 'talking' to me.
No word is enough to express that feeling of this closeness, this strange oneness
yet this strangely close distance, perhaps just enough to maintain sanity?
Who knows?
But I can vouch 'For the Joy of Work' without any worry
as I am literally feeling this very moment as I end this post.
Thank YOU for being so kind in listening.
Wishing you awesomazing moments of magic on Earth!
Sail on~ People!
That moment of truth
Do you do your best in each moment in the process creating attachment or do you keep away? In both cases, knowing full well that in the end we all are gonna leave?....
Leave with having done something
rather than nothing
Make a difference
Fulfill your destiny
So, this was a question answer session I'd had with the Universe a few months ago when I had found myself caught up in a whirlpool of events beyond my control.
I recently revisited the blog of an old friend Mr Joe Panek who has also written about it, but much more in detail. Check it out here: The Unattached Observer
When I read this again, I found that I could trust that moment of truth of before and hence adopting it, I feel confident about sharing it with you.
I think it is pretty much the crux of what Krishna was telling Arjuna at the moment he lost his balance before the battle of Kurukshetra. Discrimination + Surrender = The way? Maybe. We'll have to see that ay?
As of now, towards the next moment of truth we sail!
I think it is pretty much the crux of what Krishna was telling Arjuna at the moment he lost his balance before the battle of Kurukshetra. Discrimination + Surrender = The way? Maybe. We'll have to see that ay?
As of now, towards the next moment of truth we sail!
So! What has been your moment of truth so far?
Hope and Winter
So, this was a submission for here.
Magically, when I received the notification from this blog, I was pondering how would I really write this haiku knowing nothing about it as much as the idea interested me, as much as I had no clue what I would end up writing?
Then next day on twitter, I saw that Frank Watson had posted three simple Haiku tips:
A good English haiku is usually shorter than 17 syllables,
and a good English tanka is usually shorter than 31 syllables.
Note also that the translation is 5-3-4 (11 syllables).
English usually conveys the same meaning in fewer syllables.
Early Summer rain
the crane's leg
becomes shorter
samidare ni
tsuru no ashi
mijikaku nareri
5-5-7 (not 5-7-5) #Basho #haiku (alt trans)
So I got really excited with the timing and all (Thank you Universe! And of course, thank you Frank Watson! You're my Haiku guru!) and thought that hey! that doesn't sound too difficult but I still couldn't see what I would write and how I would even be able to write TEN of them o.O?
Then the day after that, a foul mood (wintry?) happened to set in in the evening and somehow I knew I had to give this a dash as there was nothing else for me to do at that moment and this would perhaps help me regain my cheeriness. So yes, indeed through the expressing of hope and winter and through attempting to write haiku with Frank watson's guidelines; by reviving hope for winter (the concept I would say that runs through all the ten of them) I ended up reviving myself. Here goes:
One leaf to another
Who will go next?
Winter has come.
Crack in the lip
Crack in the heel
Winter is here to stay.
Cold wintry wind
Creeping crevices
O sweater my shield!
Anticipation
A battered sock
Santa pours dreams.
Wished for snow
A fat white cat
At the doorstep.
This is for real, though it happened before I got the mail about the Haiku submission.
Now this feller here lives with our new neighbours and one fine afternoon
he was found sitting at the steps and turns out that he is called Snow o.o
Now a few days earlier, while I was pondering in the kitchen,
I had asked the Universe if it was possible to send some snow this winter? Just a wee bit?
And Snow you sent indeed. Smartass. Thanks anyway and thank you Snow! For inspiring me with the haiku!
Cool breezes
Cat huddles in
Set aglow within.
Frozen unseeing hearts
Wintry freeze visits
They melt within.
Gulf widening
No heat from Earth
They close the gap.
Sneaky sunbeams
Early awakening
Winter has had her way.
Warm breezes
Rekindling love
Winter bade farewell.
So! That was that.
Hope you enjoy Winter as long as it lasts~
'Cos Summer is just 'round the corner!
Hey! Why don't you give this a shot too?
So! Today is the 3rd of Feb, 2014.
AND LoOk who's happy ~~~~~~~>
:-)
Two mentions.
Hmm.
Not bad at all XD
The Shirt Complaint
Complaining about the work you do is like complaining that the shirt you just bought does not fit and forgetting that you are the one who bought it in the first place! So when you find yourself complaining, just chup up your mind and remember why you bought the shirt in the first place.
But what can I do if I do not like it now?
Well, what do you not like about it now?
It does not fit me well!
Then why did you buy it in the first place?
Well, I liked the look of it!
Perhaps go back and exchange it for the size that fits you?
Naah, they did not have it in any other size.
No, I did not like any other. And I really do like this one actually!
Okay, so what do you want me to do now?
You want to keep the shirt and you want to go on crying about it.
You are so being unfair to the shirt who should be the one complaining actually!
X( I am not crying...and I am most definitely not complaining! Just help me out here will you?
Well, as you say. Let's think for a moment- The shirt was what it was, the shirt is what it is. It's not the shirt's fault if you didn't have the time and patience to try it on before buying it eh?
Are you suggesting that it is my fault?
I am not suggesting anything. It is merely an observation. Perhaps it is you that does not fit this unique shirt then?
What do you mean? Are you saying I am fat?
Well, let's say your build is different from the build that the shirt was designed for?
I just cannot help it. It's a designer piece like none other and it's the only one that caught my attention!
It'll help me better if instead of playing around with words, you did your job and gave me a solution.
Well, if you really love this shirt as you profess so adamantly; you have four options:
1. Alter it to fit your size. This may ofcourse change its design and you may cry later that it has changed and is no longer like the one that you loved at first sight!
2. Alter yourself to fit in it. This may ofcourse change your design and you might just dump this shirt altogether after you see that you do not like this design anymore now that you see that you have more possibilities in front of you.
3. Alter yourself and the shirt to fit in the right places. This is only if you are stubborn enough to keep it and wear it until you tire each other out. And this takes some real effort and time and is impossible to succeed if you do not truly love and respect the shirt for what it is.
4. Just give it back so that it may find someone it fits better. Then take an honest look at yourself and understand your own size and design before venturing out to buy another shirt!
Now you have really confused me.
It is really simple actually. It's all about what you want and what you are willing to do about it without harming the essence of what it is that you want.
Bleah! You are mad. I'm gonna keep this as a souvenir until I figure a way out.
Yeah, and then it will rot sitting in your cupboard never knowing its potential of being used.
You are so damn annoying, I wonder if anyone told you that?
Oh yeah! But it does not matter to me because it's only a reflection of what you see.
Arrrghhh! Fine! I'll give the shirt back!
Whoa whoa, calm down. Take it easy. You're always running away from yourself and then you'll always end up buying things that don't fit you.
So that leaves me with what? Meditation? I don't have the time for it.
Well, then don't come to me when you cry again. Because we're gonna have the same dialogue over and again.
Jeez! You are impossible!
Oh yeah! I m possible XD
XD I gotta give it to ye- You're pretty manipulatively amusing.
Thank you.
Okay! So here goes to some honest pondering~
And dear shirt- you are really good you know? Maybe I just need to figure out what it is that I really want.
So, just stick around with me awhile until I figure that out, okay?
Okay!
Cheers to honesty indeed!
I Am. Who?
I am temporary.
I may be here now but who knows where I will be next in who knows what form.
What is always going to be around though, is the Universe.
Keeping in mind the perspective of the time I have got on Earth, I wish to do my best and be my best moment to moment.
I like the idea of every one of us limited selves connecting directly to this unlimited Universe instead of depending on our limited others for security; not that I have anything against that but only if the intention is to direct each other back to ourselves.
Maybe the Universe is in fact this mother of a verse that is a string of the pearl-like unique verses that every one of us is?
Maybe the point is for us limited selves to come together and help expand each other's horizons until we become unlimited, the Uni-verse?
Who am I anyway?
I am the life I have spent (lived? passed? Upto ye!) on earth
I am what I speak
I am what I write
I am what I think
I am the way I treat people (and non-people ahem)
I am every moment that I breathe
I am.
What do you want to identify with?
I don't wanna identify with Arch. so and so.
I was born with a name, that is enough
And I want to find out what she's all about.
I am Reema.
Really?
Well, atleast while I'm in a human body on Earth silly!
As such, I'm Krishna's friend really ;-)
Now, what do I want to be?
A little bit of Krishy
A little bit of Tolkien
A lot of calm
A lot of patience
A lot of faith
A lot of humility
A lot of poise
A lot of daring
A lot of courage
Healing.
Fearlessness.
LOVE.
Respect.
SPARK
Inspiration
Joy!
M I S C H I E F
A lot of creativity :-)
Whoa! That's a lot of things to want to be! If there was one thing that you had to say, what would that be?
I may be here now but who knows where I will be next in who knows what form.
What is always going to be around though, is the Universe.
Keeping in mind the perspective of the time I have got on Earth, I wish to do my best and be my best moment to moment.
I like the idea of every one of us limited selves connecting directly to this unlimited Universe instead of depending on our limited others for security; not that I have anything against that but only if the intention is to direct each other back to ourselves.
Maybe the Universe is in fact this mother of a verse that is a string of the pearl-like unique verses that every one of us is?
Maybe the point is for us limited selves to come together and help expand each other's horizons until we become unlimited, the Uni-verse?
Who am I anyway?
I am the life I have spent (lived? passed? Upto ye!) on earth
I am what I speak
I am what I write
I am what I think
I am the way I treat people (and non-people ahem)
I am every moment that I breathe
I am.
What do you want to identify with?
I don't wanna identify with Arch. so and so.
I was born with a name, that is enough
And I want to find out what she's all about.
I am Reema.
Really?
Well, atleast while I'm in a human body on Earth silly!
As such, I'm Krishna's friend really ;-)
Now, what do I want to be?
A little bit of Krishy
A little bit of Tolkien
A lot of calm
A lot of patience
A lot of faith
A lot of humility
A lot of poise
A lot of daring
A lot of courage
Healing.
Fearlessness.
LOVE.
Respect.
SPARK
Inspiration
Joy!
M I S C H I E F
A lot of creativity :-)
Whoa! That's a lot of things to want to be! If there was one thing that you had to say, what would that be?
MAGIC
To go beyond the circumstances
To see beneath the appearances
To sense the truth. In moments. In people.
Most of all, to have courage to face it, accept it and release it.
MAGIC is what I want to be~
Brave
Here is an extract from Maggi Lidchi Grassi's version of the Mahabharata (the best work I believe, to understand truth and let all the lies fall off----I shall leave this for another time, space and medium to explore ;-) now getting on), that I'd written down from the books that found me about a year ago because it felt good AND it felt right. Reading it again now, I see why. I see more meaning in it and feel it's worth sharing it here now that I understand better and see value in that feeling :-) So, here you go!
Scene 1
Context: Arjuna in his visit to his Greatfather for some solace after he found out that the Karna (his life-long enemy) that he killed in the battle, was in truth his eldest brother.
Do you remember in the forest you said, "Wait your exile out for thirteen years before you think of fighting. Then Dharma will be with you."
When Krishna came, he said, "Fight now!"
He looked at me with deep-set, glowing eyes that filled the sky, the universe.
"I gave you of my knowledge. What else can anybody give? I walk within my Dharma. Krishna is free of Dharma as humans understand it."
After a pause he said, "It will not work to act as if we are free if we are not unless... unless..."
He waved his hand towards the river. I waited for him to finish. He did not.
I prompted him.
"Unless..."
"You see the river," he said.
"It has no self. It gives itself and does not know it gives itself. If you annihilate the self that thinks it is doing, then you can act within this Freedom. If you can be the arrow that Krishna lets fly, then that is Freedom. Without that, each one of us must walk within his human Dharma."
"Arjuna, just as you have lived obsessed with Karna, he lived with you. All these years you have lived in each other like brothers in one womb. You were too close."
"When Balarama taught you wrestling, he spoke to you of body-eyes. When they are working, you do not have to think. And when you see with the eyes of your soul, you do not have to think."
He got up.
I took the dust from his feet and gazed upon the retreating figure.
.
.
.
Scene 2
Context: Uttara, Arjuna's daughter-in-law to Arjuna in compassion; when teary-eyed guilt-ridden Arjuna went to see her after the battle where he lost his son and she, her husband.
She said, "Do you know who the bravest people are?... Warriors who save the lives of other warriors in battle may be brave but those who give courage through telling of their fear are by far the braver."
.
.
.
SO! Coming back to the real world of now;
Hmmm...
If I've gotta be brave, that's one kind of a brave I'd like to be!
How 'bout you? What kinds of brave are you reminded of?
I am reminded now of another: To be brave enough to seek, follow and speak your own truth; moment-to-moment.
And this film.
And I'll stop and leave some room for your own individual thoughts. I've loaded you enough already.
Shh.
I am reminded now of another: To be brave enough to seek, follow and speak your own truth; moment-to-moment.
And this film.
And I'll stop and leave some room for your own individual thoughts. I've loaded you enough already.
Shh.
Wisdom?
(Source: Universe; Location of finding: The Speaking Tree column in a newspaper called Times Of India, the Monday, 18th November, 2013 issue)
Every person sees the world differently, depending on his nature and vision of life. The ignorant person and the wise one- both encounter the same world; but what is the vision of a person of wisdom? How does he think, feel and respond to the world?
Someone went to a realised person and asked, 'I know that you are an enlightened one, but what do you do all day?'
The wise man replied, 'I sleep, I get up, I take a shower, I eat and then I work.'
'That is nothing different. I also do the same.'
'But when I sleep, I sleep,' corrected the enlightened person. 'When I wake up, I am awake. When I bathe, I bathe, when I eat, I eat and when I work, I work.'
The man protested, 'But I do all this as well! Are you trying to fool me?'
The Present Moment:
'You still do not get the point. When you sleep, you dream. And even when you are awake, you are really asleep because you live in a dream world only,' explained the wise man. 'When you take a shower, you begin think (sic) of all the things that you have to do that day. When you eat, your mind is somewhere else. And when you are at work, you think of home. Generally your mind is miles away from where you are.'
A wise person may look the same outwardly, but his mental state is quite different from ours. Some great souls are very relaxed; others are dynamic men and women of action and great organisers. Their behaviour can also be quite unexpected and unpredictable.
Story Of Four Brothers:
Once there were four brothers. When their father died, his property was divided equally among them. Since one of the brothers was a monk, the other three protested about his share. According to them, the monk did not have any need for his share of the property. But the monk fought back, and insisted on his right. One of the disciples knew the greatness of the monk, but when he saw him fighting with his brothers, he wondered about him. In order to test him, the disciple approached the teacher at a time when all the four brothers were arguing, heatedly, over the property.
He asked the monk to explain the meaning of the line from the Bhagwad Gita, 'Anger leads to delusion.' The monk smiled, took him aside and asked him to wait until he had finished the drama! From that day, the disciple never doubted his teacher. He realised that the monk's anger was just for show and it was under his control all the time.
Knower Of Brahmn:
Hence, it is said that it is easy to indicate Brahmn, but very difficult to describe a knower of Brahmn. This is because such a person cannot be classified as one thinking or acting in any particular manner. All speculations and imaginations have to be thrown aside. Even though the person performs all activities, he is really beyond them. Ramana Maharshi once said, 'Who can ever comprehend or imagine the state of the enlightened soul?' The characteristics of a wise person are understood only by another wise person. Therefore, the only way is to become wise ourselves.
(Titled 'Recognise A Person Of Wisdom', authored by Swami Tejomayananda)
So! How wise do you think it is to want to be wise?
Marriage
(Excerpt from Conversations with God, Book 3; written by Neale Donald Walsch, with God ;-) )
Are there such things as “soul partners” ?
Yes, but not the way
you think of them.
What’s different?
You have romanticized
“soul partner” to mean the “other half of you.” In truth, the human soul -
the
part of Me that “individuates” – is much larger than you have imagined.
In other words, what I call the soul is bigger than I think.
Much bigger. It is not
the air in one room. It is the air in one entire house. And that house has many
rooms. The “soul” is not limited to one identity. It is not the “air” in the
dining room. Nor does the soul “split” into two individuals who are called soul
partners. It is not the “air” in the living room-dining room combination. It is
the “air” in the whole mansion. And in My kingdom there
are many mansions. And while it is the same air flowing around, in, and through
every mansion, the air of the rooms in one mansion may feel “closer”.
You might
walk into those rooms and say, “It feels ‘close’ in there.”
So that you understand,
then – there is only One Soul. Yet what you call the individuated soul is huge,
hovering over, in, and through hundreds of physical forms.
At the same time?
There is no such thing
as time. I can only answer this by saying, “Yes, and no.” Some of the physical
forms enveloped by your soul are “living now”, in your understanding. Others
individuated in forms that are now what you would call “dead”. And some have
enveloped forms that live in what you call the “future”. It’s all happening
right now, of course, and yet, your contrivance called time serves as a tool,
allowing you a greater sense of the realized experience.
So, these hundreds of physical bodies my soul has
“enveloped” – that’s an interesting word You’ve used- are all my “soul
partners”?
That’s closer to being
accurate than the way you have been using the term, yes.
And some of my soul partners have lived before?
Yes. As you would
describe it, yes.
Whoa. Hold it! I think I just got something here! Are these parts of me that have lived “before”
what I would now describe as my “former lives”?
Good thinking! You are
getting it! Yes! Some of these are the “other lives” you've lived “before”. And
some are not. And other parts of your soul are enveloping bodies that will be
alive in what you call your future. And still others are embodied in different
forms living on your planet right now.
When you run into one
of these, you may feel an immediate sense of affinity. Sometimes you may even
say, “We must have spent a ‘past life’ together.” And you will be right. You have spent a “past life” together. Either as the same physical form, or as two forms in the same Space-Time
Continuum.
This is fabulous! This explains everything!
Yes, it does.
Except one thing.
What’s that?
How about when I just know
that I’ve spent a “past life” with someone- I just know it; I feel it in my bones-
and yet, when I mention this to them, they feel none of this at all? What’s that about?
It’s about your
confusing the “past” with the “future”.
Huh?
You have spent another life with them- it’s
just not a past life.
It’s a “future life”?
Precisely. It’s all
happening in the Eternal Moment of Now, and you have an awareness of what, in a
sense, has not yet happened.
Then why don’t they “remember” the future, too?
These are very subtle
vibrations, and some of you are more sensitive to them than others. Also, from
person to person it is different. You may be more “sensitive” to your “past” or
“future” experience with one person than another. This usually means you’ve
spent that other time as the part of your very huge soul enveloping the same
body, whereas when there is still that sensation of “having met before”, but
just not as strong of one, it may mean that you shared the same “time”
together, but not the same body.
Perhaps you were (or will be) husband and
wife, brother and sister, parent and child, lover and beloved.
These are strong bonds,
and it is natural that you would feel them when you “meet again”
for the “first
time” in “this” life.
If what You are saying is true, it would account for a
phenomenon for which I have never before been able to account- the phenomenon
of more than one person in this “lifetime” claiming to have memories of being
Joan of Arc. Or Mozart. Or some other famous person from the “past”. I have
always thought this was proof for those who say that reincarnation is a false
doctrine, for how could more than one person claim to have been the same person
before? But now I see how this is possible! All that has happened is that
several of the sentient beings now being enveloped by one soul are
“remembering” (becoming members once again with) the part of their single soul
which was (is now) Joan of Arc.
Good heavens, this blows the lid off all limitations, and
makes all things possible. The minute I catch myself, in the future, saying
“that’s impossible”, I’ll know that all I’m doing is demonstrating that there’s
a great deal I don’t know.
That is a good thing to
remember. A very good thing to remember.
And, if we can have more than one “soul partner”, that would
explain how it is possible for us to experience those intense “soul partner
feelings” with more than one person a lifetime- and even more than one person at a time!
Indeed.
Then it is possible to love more than one person at a time.
Of course.
No, no. I mean, with the kind of intense, personal love that
we usually reserve for one person- or, at least, one person at a time!
Why would you ever want
to “reserve” love? Why would you want to hold it “in reserve”?
Because it’s not right to love more than one person “that
way”. It’s a betrayal.
Who told you that?
Everybody.
Everybody tells me that. My parents told me that. My religion told me that. My
society tells me that. Everybody tells me that!
These are some of those
“sins of the father” being passed onto the son.
Your own experience
teaches you one thing- that loving everyone full
out is the most joyful thing you can do. Yet your parents, teachers,
ministers tell you something else- that you may only love one person at a time
“that way”. And we’re not just talking about sex here. If you consider one
person as special as another in any way,
you are often made to feel that you have betrayed that other.
Right! Exactly! That’s how we’ve got it set up!
Then you are not
expressing true love, but some counterfeit variety.
To what extent will true love be allowed to express itself
within the framework of the human experience? What limits shall we- indeed,
some would say must we- place on that
expression? If all social and sexual energies were to be unleashed without
restriction, what would be the result? Is complete social and sexual freedom
the abdication of all responsibility, or the absolute height of it?
Any attempt to restrict
the natural expressions of love is a denial of the soul itself. For the soul is freedom personified. God is freedom, by definition- for God is
limitless and without restriction of any
kind. The soul is God, miniaturized. Therefore, the soul rebels at any
imposition of limitation, and dies a new death each time it accepts boundaries
from without. In this sense, birth
itself is a death, and death a birth. For in birth, the soul finds itself
constricted within the awful limitations of a body, and at death escapes those
constrictions again.
It does the same thing during sleep.
Back to freedom the
soul flies- and rejoices once again with the expression and experience of its
true nature.
Yet can its true nature
be expressed and experienced while with
the body?
That is the question
you ask- and it drives to the very reason and purpose of life itself. For if
life with the body is nothing more than a prison or a limitation, then what
good can come of it,
and what can be its function, much less its justification?
Yes, I suppose that is what I am asking. And I ask it on
behalf of all beings everywhere who have felt the awful constrictions of the
human experience. And I am not speaking now of physical limitations-
-I know you are not-
-but emotional and psychological ones.
Yes, I know. I
understand. Yet your concerns all relate to the same larger question.
Yes, all right. Still, let me finish. All my life I have
been deeply frustrated by the world’s inability to let me love everyone in
exactly the way I’ve wanted to.
When I was young, it was about not talking to strangers, not
saying things inappropriately. I remember once, walking down a street with my
father, we came across a poor man, begging for coins. I immediately felt sorry
for the man and wanted to give him some of the pennies in my pocket. My father
stopped me, and brushed me past. “Trash”, he said. “That’s just trash”. That
was my father’s label for all those who did not live up to his definitions of
what it meant to be humans of worth.
Later, I remember an experience of my older brother, who was
no longer living with us, not being allowed into the house on Christmas Eve
because of some argument he’d had with my father. I loved my brother and wanted
him to be with us that night, but my father stopped him on the front porch and
barred him from entering the home. My mother was devastated (it was her son
from a previous marriage), and I was simply mystified. How could we not love or
want my brother on Christmas Eve simply because of an argument?
What kind of disagreement could be so bad that it would be
allowed to ruin Christmas, when even wars were suspended for a 24-hour truce?
This, my little seven-year-old heart begged to know.
As I grew older, I learned that it was not just anger that
stopped the love from flowing, but also fear. This was why we oughtn’t talk to
strangers- but not just when we were defenseless children. Also when we were
adults. I learned that it was just not okay to openly and eagerly meet and
greet strangers, and that there was a certain etiquette to be followed with
people to whom you’ve just been introduced- none of which made sense to me. I
wanted to know everything about that
new person and I wanted them to know everything about me! But no. The rules
said we had to wait.
And now, in my adult life, when sexuality enters into it,
I’ve learned that the rules are even more rigid and limiting. And I still don’t get it.
I find that I just want to love and be loved- that I just
want to love everyone in whatever way feels natural to me, in whatever way
feels good. Yet society has its rules and regulations about all this- and so
rigid are they that even if the other
person who is involved agrees to an experience, if society doesn’t agree, those two lovers are called “wrong”, and are
thus doomed.
What is that? What
is that all about?
Well, you’ve said it yourself. Fear.
It’s all about fear.
Yes, but are
these fears justified? Aren’t these restrictions and constrictions only
appropriate, given the behaviours of our race? A man meets a younger woman,
falls in love (or “in lust”) with her, and leaves his wife, for instance. I use
only one example. So there she is, left with the kids and no employment skills
at thirty-nine or forty-three- or, worse yet, left high and dry at sixty-four
by a sixty-eight-year-old man who’s become enamored of a woman younger than his
daughter.
Is it
your supposing that the man you describe has ceased to love his sixty-four-year-old
wife?
Well, he sure acts like it.
No.
It is not his wife he does not love, and seeks to escape. It is the limitations
he feels placed on him.
Oh, nonsense. It’s lust, pure and
simple. It’s an old geezer simply trying to recapture his youth, wanting to be
with a younger woman, unable to curb his childish appetites and keep his
promise to the partner who has remained with him through all the tough and lean
years.
Of
course. You’ve described it perfectly. Yet nothing you have said has changed a
thing that I have said. In virtually every case, this man has not stopped
loving his wife. It is the limitations his wife places on him, or those placed
on him by the younger woman who will have nothing to do with him if he stays
with his wife, that creates the rebellion. The
point I am trying to make is that the soul will always rebel at limitation. Of any kind. That is what has sparked every
revolution in the history of humankind, not just the revolution which causes a
man to leave his wife- or a wife to suddenly leave her husband. (Which, by the
way, also happens.)
Surely You are not arguing for the
complete abolition of behavioral limitations of any kind! That would be
behavioral anarchy. Social chaos. Surely You are not advocating people having
“affairs”- or, take my breath away, open
marriage!
I do
not advocate, or fail to advocate, anything.
I am not “for” or “against” anything. The human race keeps trying to make me a
“for” or “against” kind of God, and I am not that. I
merely observe what is so. I simply watch you create your own systems of right and wrong, for and against, and I look to see
whether your current ideas about that serve you, given what you say you choose
and desire as a species, and as individuals.
Now,
to the question of “open marriage”.
I am
not for or against “open marriage”. Whether you are or not depends upon what
you decide you want in, and out of, your marriage. And your decision about that creates Who You Are with regard to
the experience you call “marriage”. For it is as I have told you: Every act is
an act of self-definition. When
making any decision, it is important to make sure the right question is being
answered. The question with regard to so-called “open marriage”, for instance,
is not “shall we have an open marriage where sexual contact by both parties
with persons outside the marriage is allowed?”
The question is “Who am I- and
Who Are We- with regard to the experience called marriage?”
The
answer to that question will be found in the answer to life’s largest question:
Who Am I- period-with regard to
anything, in relationship to anything; Who Am I, and Who Do I Choose to Be?
As I
have said repeatedly throughout this dialogue, the answer to that question is
the answer to every question.
God, that frustrates me. Because the
answer to that question is so broad and so general that it answers no other
question at all.
Oh,
really? Then what is your answer to that question?
According to these books- according
to what You seem to be saying in this dialogue- I am “love”. That is Who I Really
Am.
Excellent!
You have learned! That is correct. You are love. Love is all there is. So you
are love, I am love, and there is nothing which is not love.
What about fear?
Fear
is that which you are not. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is the
opposite of love, which you have created in your reality so that you may know
experientially That Which You Are.
This
is what is true in the relative world of your existence: In the absence of that
which you are not, that which you are . . . is not.
Yes, yes, we’ve been through this a
number of times now in our dialogue. But it feels as though You have evaded my
complaint. I said that the answer to the question of Who We Are (which is love)
is so broad as to render it a nonanswer- it is no answer at all- to almost any
other question. You say it is the answer to every
question, and I say it is not the answer to any-
much less to one as specific as “Should our marriage be an open marriage?”
If
that is true for you, it is because you do not know what love is.
Does anybody? The human race has
been trying to figure that one out since the beginning of time.
Which
does not exist.
Which does not exist, yes, yes, I
know. It’s a figure of speech.
Let
me see if I can find, using your “figures of speech”, some words and some ways
to explain what love is.
Super. That’d be great.
The
first word that comes to mind is unlimited. That which is love is unlimited.
Well, we’re right where we were when
we opened this subject. We’re going around in circles.
Circles
are good. Don’t berate them. Keep circling; keep circling around the question.
Circling is okay. Repeating is okay. Revisiting, restarting is okay.
I sometimes get impatient.
Sometimes?
That’s pretty funny.
Okay, okay, go on with what You were
saying.
Love
is that which is unlimited. There is no beginning and no end to it. No before
and no after. Love always was, always is, and always will be.
So
love is also always. It’s the always reality.
Now
we get back to another word we used before- freedom. For if love is unlimited,
and always, then love is. . .free. Love is that which is perfectly free.
Now
in the human reality, you will find that you always seek to love, and to be
loved. You will find that you will always yearn for that love to be unlimited.
And you will find that you will always wish you could be free to express it.
You
will seek freedom, unlimitedness, and eternality in every expression of love.
You may not always get it, but that is what you will seek. You will seek this
because this is what love is, and at
some deep place you know that,
because you are love, and through the
expression of love you are seeking to know and to experience Who and What You
Are. You
are life expressing life, love expressing love, God expressing God. All
these words are therefore synonymous. Think of them as the same thing:
God
Life
Love
Unlimited
Eternal
Free
Anything
which is not one of these things is not any of these things. You
are all of those things, and you will seek to experience yourself as all of
these things sooner or later.
What does this mean, “sooner or
later”?
It
depends on when you get over your fear. As I’ve said, fear is False Evidence
Appearing Real. It is that which you are not. You
will seek to experience That Which You Are when you are through experiencing
that which you are not.
Who wants to experience fear?
Nobody
wants to; you are taught to. A
child experiences no fear. He thinks he can do anything. Nor does a child
experience lack of freedom. She thinks she can love anyone. Nor does a child
experience lack of life. Children believe they will live forever- and people
who act like children think nothing can hurt them. Nor does a child know any
ungodly things- until that child is taught ungodly things by grownups. And
so, children run around naked and hug everyone, thinking nothing of it. If
adults could only do the same thing.
Well, children do so with the beauty
of innocence. Adults cannot get back to that innocence, because when adults
“get naked” there is always that sex thing.
Yes.
And, of course, God forbid that “that sex thing” be innocent and freely
experienced.
Actually, God did forbid it. Adam and Eve were perfectly happy running around
naked in the Garden of Eden until Eve ate of the fruit of the tree- the
Knowledge of Good and Evil. Then You condemned us to our present state, for we
are all guilty of that original sin.
I did
no such thing.
I know. But I had to give organized
religion a shot here.
Try
to avoid that if you can.
Yes, I should. Organized
religionists have very little sense of humor.
There
you go again.
Sorry.
I was
saying…you will strive as a species
to experience a love that is unlimited, eternal, and free. The institution of
marriage has been your attempt at creating eternality. With it, you agreed to
become partners for life. But this did little to produce a love which was
“unlimited” and “free”.
Why not? If the marriage is freely
chosen, isn’t it an expression of freedom? And to say that you are going to
demonstrate your love sexually with no one else but your spouse is not a
limitation, it’s a choice. And a choice is not a limitation, it is the exercise of freedom.
So
long as that continues to be the
choice, yes.
Well, it has to be. That was the promise.
Yes-
and that’s where the trouble begins.
Help me here.
Look,
there may come a time when you want to experience a high degree of specialness
in a relationship. Not that one person
is more special to you than another, but that the way you choose to demonstrate with one person the depth of love you
have for all people- and for life itself- is unique to that person alone. Indeed,
the way you now demonstrate love to each person you do love is unique. You demonstrate your love to no two people in
exactly the same way. Because you are a creature and a creator of originality,
everything you create is original. It is not possible for any thought, word, or
action to be duplicative. You cannot
duplicate, you can only originate.
Do
you know why no two snowflakes are alike? Because it is impossible for them to be. “Creation” is not “duplication”, and the
Creator can only create. That
is why no two snowflakes are alike, no two people are alike, no two thoughts
are alike, no two relationships are alike, and no two of anything are alike. The
universe- and everything in it- exists in singular form, and there truly is nothing else like it.
This is the Divine Dichotomy again.
Everything is singular, yet everything is One.
Exactly.
Each finger on your hand is different, yet it is all the same hand. The air in
your house is the air that is everywhere, yet the air from room to room is not
the same, but feels markedly different. It is
the same with people. All people are One, yet no two people are alike.
You
could not, therefore, love two people in the same way even if you tried- and
you would never want to, because love is a unique response to that which is
unique.
So
when you demonstrate your love for one person, you are doing so in a way in
which you cannot do so with another. Your thoughts, words, and actions- your
responses- are literally impossible to duplicate- one of a kind. . . just as is
the person for whom you have these feelings.
If
the time has come when you have desired this special demonstration with one
person alone, then choose it, as you say. Announce it, and declare it. Yet make
your declaration an announcement moment-to-moment of your freedom, not your ongoing obligation.
For true love is always free, and obligation cannot exist in the space of love.
If
you see your decision to express your love in a particular way with only one
particular other as a sacred promise,
never to be broken, the day may come when you will experience that promise as
an obligation- and you will resent it. Yet if you see this decision not as a
promise, made only once, but as a free choice, made over and over, that day of
resentment will never come.
Remember
this: There is only one sacred promise- and that is to tell and live your truth. All other promises are forfeitures of
freedom, and that can never be sacred. For freedom is Who You Are. If you
forfeit freedom, you forfeit your Self. And that is not a sacrament that is a
blasphemy.
Whew! Those are tough words. Are You
saying we should never make promises-that we should never promise anything to
anyone?
As
most of you are now living your life, there is a lie built into every promise.
The lie is that you can know now how you will feel about a thing, and what you
will want to do about that thing, on any given tomorrow. You cannot know this
if you are living your life as a reactive being- which most of you are. Only if
you are living life as a creative being can your promises not contain a lie.
Creative
beings can know how they are going to feel about a thing at any time in the
future, because creative beings create
their feelings, rather than experiencing them.
Until
you can create your future, you
cannot predict your future. Until you can predict
your future, you cannot promise anything truthfully about it.
Yet
even one who both creates and predicts her future has the authority and the
right to change. Change is a fundamental right of all creatures. Indeed, it is
more than a “right”, for a “right” is that which is given. “Change” is that which is.
Change
is. That
which is change, you are. You
cannot be given this. You are this.
Now,
since you are “change”- and since change is the
only thing constant about you- you cannot truthfully promise to always be the same.
Do you mean there are no constants
in the universe? Are You saying that there is nothing which remains constant in
all of creativity?
The
process you call life is a process of re-creation. All of life is constantly
re-creating itself anew in each moment of now. In this process indenticality is
impossible, similarity is not. Similarity is the result of the process of
change producing a remarkably similar version of what went before.
When
creativity reaches a high level of similarity, you call that identicality. And
from the gross perspective of your limited viewpoint, it is.
Therefore,
in human terms, there appears to be great constancy in the universe. That is,
things seem to look alike, and act alike, and react alike. You see consistency here. This
is good, for it provides a framework within which you may consider, and
experience, your existence in the physical. Yet I
tell you this. Viewed from the perspective of all life-that which is physical
and that which is nonphysical-the appearance of constancy disappears. Things
are experienced as they really are:
constantly changing.
You are saying that sometimes the
changes are so delicate, so subtle, that from our less discerning viewpoint
they appear the same-sometimes
exactly the same-when, in fact, they are not.
Precisely.
There are “no such things as
identical twins.”
Exactly.
You have captured it perfectly.
Yet we can re-create ourselves anew
in a form sufficiently similar to produce the effect of constancy.
Yes.
And we can do this in human
relationships, in terms of Who We Are, and how we behave.
Yes-although
most of you find this very difficult. Because true consistency (as opposed to
the appearance of constancy) violates the natural law, as we have just learned,
and it takes a great master to even create the appearance of identicality.
A
master overcomes every natural tendency (remember, the natural tendency is
toward change) to show up as identicality. In truth, he cannot show up
identically from moment to moment. But she can
show up as sufficiently similar to
create the appearance of being
identical.
Yet people who are not “masters” show up “identically” all
the time. I know people whose behaviours and appearances are so predictable you
can stake your life on them.
Yet it takes great effort to do this intentionally. The master is one who creates a high level of similarity (what you call “consistency”) intentionally. A student is one who creates consistency without necessarily intending to. A person who always reacts the same way to certain circumstances, for instance, will often say, “I couldn’t help it”. A master would never say that. Even if a person’s reaction produces an admirable behavior-something for which they receive praise- their response will often be “Well, it was nothing. It was automatic, really. Anybody would do it.” A master would never do that, either. A master, therefore, is a person who- quite literally-knows what he is doing. She also knows why. People not operating at levels of mastery often know neither.
This
is why it is so difficult to keep promises?
It is
one reason. As I said, until you can predict your future, you cannot promise
anything truthfully. A
second reason people find it difficult to keep promises is that they come into
conflict with authenticity.
What do You mean?
I
mean that their evolving truth about a thing differs from what they said their
truth would always be. And so, they are deeply conflicted. What to obey- my
truth, or my promise?
Advice?
I
have given you this advice before:
Betrayal
of yourself in order not to betray another is betrayal nonetheless. It is the
highest betrayal.
But this would lead to promises
being broken all over the place! Nobody’s word on anything would matter. Nobody
could be counted on for anything!
Oh,
so you’ve been counting on others to keep their word, have you? No wonder
you’ve been so miserable.
Who says I’ve been miserable?
You
mean this is the way you look and act when you’ve been happy?
All right. Okay. So I’ve been
miserable. Sometimes.
Oh, a
great deal of the time. Even when you’ve had every reason to be happy, you’ve
allowed yourself to be miserable- worrying about whether you’ll be able to hold
onto your happiness! And
the reason you’ve even had to worry about this is that “holding onto your
happiness” has depended to a large degree on other people keeping their word.
You mean I don’t have a right to
expect- or at least hope- that other
people will keep their word?
Why
would you want such a right? The
only reason that another person would not keep their word to you would be
because they didn’t want to- or they felt they couldn’t, which is the same
thing. And
if a person did not want to keep his word to you, or for some reason felt he
just couldn’t, why on Earth would you want him to? Do
you really want someone to keep an agreement she does not want to keep? Do you
really feel people should be forced to do things they don’t feel they can do? Why
would you want to force anyone to do anything against his will?
Well, try this for a reason: because
to let them get away with not doing what they said they were going to do would
hurt me- or my family.
So in
order to avoid injury, you’re willing to inflict injury.
I don’t see how it injures another
simply to ask him to keep his word.
Yet he must see it as injurious, or he would
keep it willingly.
So I should suffer the injury, or
watch my children and family suffer the injury, rather than “injure” the one
who made a promise by simply asking that it be kept?
Do
you really think that if you force another to keep a promise that you will have
escaped injury?
I
tell you this: More damage has been done to others by persons leading lives of
quiet desperation (that is, doing what they felt they “had” to do) than ever
was done by persons freely doing what they wanted to do.
When
you give a person freedom, you remove danger, you don’t increase it.
Yes,
letting someone “off the hook” on a promise or commitment made to you may look
like it will hurt you in the short run, but it will never damage you in the
long run, because when you give the other person their freedom, you give
yourself freedom as well. And so now you are free of the agonies and the
sorrows, the attacks on your dignity and your self-worth that inevitably follow
when you force another person to keep a promise to you that he or she does not
want to keep. The
longer damage will far outweigh the shorter- as nearly everyone who has tried
to hold another person to their word has discovered.
Does this same idea hold true in
business as well? How could the world do business that way?
Actually
it is the only way to do business.
The
problem right now in your whole society is that it is based on force. Legal
force (which you call the “force of law”) and, too often, physical force (which
you call the world’s “armed forces”).
You
have not yet learned to use the art of persuasion.
If not by legal force- the “force of
law” through the courts- how would we “persuade” businesses to meet the terms
of their contract and keep their agreements?
Given
your current cultural ethic, there may not be another way. Yet with a change of
cultural ethic, the way you are now seeking to keep businesses- and
individuals, for that matter- from breaking their agreements will appear very
primitive.
Can You explain?
You
are now using force to make sure agreements are kept. When your cultural ethic
is changed to include an understanding that you are all One, you would never
use force, because that would only damage your Self. You would not slap your
left hand with your right.
Even if the left hand was strangling
you?
That
is another thing which would not happen. You would stop strangling your Self.
You would stop biting your nose to spite your face. You would stop breaking
your agreements. And, of course, your agreements themselves would be much
different. You
would not agree to give something of value which you have to another only if
they had something of value to give you in exchange. You would never hold back
on giving or sharing something until you got what you call a just return. You
would give and share automatically, and so, there would be far fewer contracts
to break, because a contract is about the exchange
of goods and services, whereas your life would be about the giving of goods and
services, regardless of what exchange
may or may not take place. Yet
in this kind of one-way giving would your salvation be found, for you would
have discovered what God has experienced: that what you give to another, you
give to yourself.
What goes around, comes around.
All things proceed from you, return
to you.
Sevenfold.
So there is no need to worry about what you are going to “get back”. There is
only a need to worry about what you are going to “give out”. Life is about
creating the highest quality giving, not the highest quality getting. You
keep forgetting. But life is not “for getting”. Life is “for giving”, and in
order to do that, you need to be forgiving to others- especially those who did
not give you what you thought you
were going to get! This
switch will entail a complete shift of your cultural story. Today, what you
call “success” in your culture is measured largely by how much you “get”, by
how much honour and money and power and possessions you amass. In the New
Culture “success” will be measured by how much you cause others to amass. The
irony will be that the more you cause others to amass, the more you will amass,
effortlessly. With no “contracts”, no “agreements”, no “bargaining” or
“negotiating” or lawsuits or courts which force you to give to each other what
was “promised”. In
the future economy, you will not do things for personal profit, but for
personal growth, which will be your
profit. Yet “profit” in material terms will come to you as you become a bigger and grander version of Who You Really Are.
In
those days and times, using force to coerce someone to give you something
because they “said” that they would will seem very primitive to you. If another
person does not keep an agreement, you will simply allow them to walk their
path, make their choices, and create their own experience of themselves. And
whatever they have not given you, you will not miss, for you will know that
there is “more where that came from”- and that they are not your source of
that, but you are.
Whoa. I got it. But it feels like we
have really gotten off the mark. This whole discussion began with my asking You
about love- and if human beings would ever allow themselves to express it
without limitation. And that led to a question about open marriage. And
suddenly we’ve gotten way off the mark here.
Not
really. Everything we’ve talked about is pertinent. And this is a perfect
lead-in to your questions about so-called enlightened, or more highly evolved,
societies. Because in highly evolved societies there is neither “marriages” nor
“business”-nor, for that matter, any of the artificial social constructions you
have created to hold your society together.
Yes, well, we’ll get into that soon.
Right now I just want to close down this subject. You’ve said some intriguing
things here. What all of it breaks down to, as I get it, is that most human
beings can’t keep promises and so, shouldn’t make them. That pretty much
scuttles the institution of marriage.
I
like your use of the word “institution” here. Most people experience that when
they are in a marriage, they are in
an “institution”.
Yeah, it’s either a mental health
institution or a penal institution- or at the very least an institution of
higher learning!
Exactly.
Precisely. That’s how most people experience it.
Well, I was kidding along with You
here, but I wouldn’t say “most people”, There are still millions of people who
love the institution of marriage, and want to protect it.
I’ll
stand by the statement. Most people have a very difficult time with marriage,
and do not like what it does to them. Your worldwide divorce statistics prove
this.
So are You saying that marriage
should go?
I
have no preference in the matter, only-
-I know, I know. Observations.
Bravo!
You keep wanting to make me a God of preferences, which I am not. Thank you for
trying to stop that.
Well, we’ve not only just scuttled marriage;
we’ve also just scuttled religion!
It is
true that religions could not exist if the whole human race understood that God
doesn’t have preferences, because a religion purports to be a statement of God’s preferences.
And if You have no preferences, then
religion must be a lie.
Well,
that’s a harsh word. I would call it a fiction. It’s just something you made
up.
Like we made up the fiction that God
prefers us to be married?
Yes.
I don’t prefer anything of the sort. But I notice you do.
Why?
Why do we prefer marriage if we know that it is so difficult?
Because
marriage was the only way you could figure out to bring “foreverness”, or
eternality, into your experience of love. It
was the only way a female could guarantee her support and survival, and the
only way a male could guarantee the constant availability of sex, and
companionship. So a
social convention was created. A bargain was struck. You give me this and I’ll
give you that. In this it was very much like a business. A contract was made.
And since both parties needed to enforce the contract, it was said to be a
“sacred pact” with God- who would punish those who broke it. Later,
when that didn’t work, you created manmade laws to enforce it.
But even that hasn’t worked.
Neither
the so-called laws of God nor the laws of man have been able to keep people
from breaking their marriage vows.
How come?
Because
those vows as you have them normally constructed run counter to the only law
that matters.
Which is?
Natural
law.
But it is the nature of things for
life to express unity. Oneness. Isn’t that what I’m getting from all of this?
And marriage is our most beautiful expression of that. You know, “What God has
joined together, let no man put asunder,” and all that.
Marriage,
as most of you have practiced it, is not particularly beautiful. For it
violates two of the three aspects of what is true about each human being by
nature.
Will You go over it again? I think
I’m just starting to pull this together.
Okay.
Once more form the top.
Who
You Are is love. What
love is, is unlimited, eternal and free. Therefore,
that is what you are. That is the nature of Who You Are. You are
unlimited, eternal and free, by nature. Now,
any artificial social, moral, religious, philosophical, economic, or political
construction which violates or subordinates your nature is an impingement upon
your very Self-and you will rail against it. What
do you suppose gave birth to your own country? Was it not “Give me liberty, or
give me death?” Well,
you’ve given up that liberty in your country, and you’ve given it up in your
lives. And all for the same thing. Security.
You
are so afraid to live-so afraid of life itself-that you’ve given up the very nature of your being in trade for
security. The institution you call marriage is your attempt to
create security, as is the institution called government. Actually, they are
both forms of the same thing- artificial social constructions designed to govern each other’s behavior.
Good grief, I never looked at it
like that. I always thought that marriage was the ultimate announcement of
love.
As
you have imagined it, yes, but not as you have constructed it. As you have
constructed it, it is the ultimate announcement of fear. If
marriage allowed you to be unlimited, eternal, and free in your love, then it
would be the ultimate announcement of love. As
things are now, you become married in an effort to lower your love to the level
of a promise or a guarantee. Marriage
is an effort to guarantee that “what is so” now will always be so. If you
didn't need this guarantee, you would not need marriage. And how do you use
this guarantee? First, as a means of creating security (instead of creating
security from that which is inside of you), and second, if that security is not
forever forthcoming, as a means of punishing each other, for the marriage
promise which has been broken can now form the basis of the lawsuit which has
been opened. You
have thus found marriage very useful- even if it is for all the wrong reasons.
Marriage
is also your attempt to guarantee that the feelings you have for each other,
you will never have for another. Or, at least, that you will never express them
with another in the same way.
Namely, sexually.
Finally, marriage as you have
constructed it is a way of saying: “This relationship is special. I hold this
relationship above all others.”
What’s wrong with that?
Nothing. It’s not a question of
“right” or “wrong”. Right and wrong do not exist. It’s a question of what
serves you. Of what re-creates you in the next grandest image of Who You Really
Are.
If Who You Really Are is a being who
says, “This one relationship- this single one, right over here- is more special
than any other”, then your construction of marriage allows you to do that
perfectly. Yet you might find it interesting to notice that almost no one who
is, or has been, recognized as a spiritual master is married.
Yeah, because masters are celibate.
They don’t have sex.
No.
It’s because masters cannot truthfully make the statement that your present
construction of marriage seeks to make: that one person is more special to them
than another.
This
is not a statement that a master makes, and it is not a statement that God makes.
The
fact is that your marriage vows, as you presently construct them, have you
making a very un-Godly statement. It is the height of irony that you feel this
is the holiest of holy promises, for it is a promise that God would never make. Yet,
in order to justify your human fears, you have imagined a God who acts just like you. Therefore, you speak
of God’s “promise” to his “Chosen People”, and of covenants between God and
those God loves, in a special way. You
cannot stand the thought of a God who loves no one in a way which is more special
than any other, and so you create fictions about a God who only loves certain
people for certain reasons. And you call these fictions Religions. I call them
blasphemies. For any thought that God loves one more than another is false-and
any ritual which asks you to make the
same statement is not a sacrament,
but a sacrilege.
Oh, my God, stop it. Stop it! You’re
killing every good thought I ever had about marriage! This can’t be God writing
this. God would never say such things about religion and marriage!
Religion
and marriage the way you have constructed them is what we are talking about
here. You think that this talk is tough? I tell you this: You have bastardized
the Word of God in order to justify your fears and rationalize your insane
treatment of each other. You
will make God say whatever you need God to say in order to continue limiting
each other, hurting each other, and killing
each other in My name. Yea,
you have invoked My name, and waved My flag, and carried crosses on your
battlefields for centuries, all as proof that I love one people more than
another, and would ask you to kill to
prove it. Yet,
I tell you this: My love is unlimited and unconditional. That
is the one thing you cannot hear, the one truth you cannot abide, the one
statement you cannot accept, for its all-inclusiveness destroys not only the
institution of marriage (as you have constructed it), but every one of your
religions and governmental institutions as well. For
you have created a culture based on exclusion, and supported it with a cultural
myth of a God who excludes. Yet
the culture of God is based on inclusion. In God’s love, everyone is included.
Into God’s kingdom everyone is
invited.
And
this truth is what you call a blasphemy.
And
you must. Because if it is true, then
everything you have created in your life is false. All human conventions and
all human constructions are faulty to the degree that they are not unlimited,
eternal and free.
How can anything be “faulty” if
there’s no such thing as “right” and “wrong”?
A thing
is only faulty to the degree that it does not function to suit its purpose. If
a door does not open and close, you would not call the door “wrong”. You would
merely say its installation or operation is faulty- because it does not serve
its purpose. Whatever
you construct in your life, in your human society, which does not serve your
purpose in becoming human is faulty. It is a faulty construction.
And-just for review-my purpose in
becoming human is?
To
decide and to declare, to create and to express, to experience and to fulfill,
Who You Really Are. To
re-create yourself anew in every moment in the grandest version of the greatest
vision ever you had about Who You Really Are. That
is your purpose in becoming human, and that is the purpose of all of life.
So- where does that leave us? We’ve
destroyed religion, we’ve dissed marriage, we’ve denounced governments. Where
are we, then?
First
of all, we’ve destroyed, dissed and denounced nothing. If a construction you
have created is not working and not producing what you wanted it to produce, to
describe that condition is not to
destroy, diss, or denounce the construction.
Try
to remember the difference between judgement and observation.
Well, I’m not going to argue with
You here, but a lot of what has just been said has sounded pretty judgemental
to me.
We
are constricted here by the awful limitation of words. There are really so few
of them, and so we have to use the same ones over and over again, even when
they don’t always convey the same meaning, or the same kind of thoughts. You
say that you “love” banana splits, but you surely don’t mean the same thing as
when you say you love each other. So you see, you have very few words, really,
to describe how you’re feeling. In
communicating with you in this way- in the way of words- I’ve allowed Myself to
experience those limitations. And I will concede that, because some of this
language has also been used by you
when you are being judgemental, it
would be easy to conclude that I’m
being judgemental when I use them. Let
Me assure you here that I am not. Throughout this whole dialogue I have simply
been trying to tell you how to get where you say you want to go, and to
describe as impactfully as possible what is blocking your way; what is stopping
you from going there.
Now,
with regard to religion, you say
where you want to go is to a place where you can truly know God and love God. I
am simply observing that your religions do no take you there. Your
religions have made God the great Mystery, and caused you not to love God, but
to fear God. Religion
has done little, as well, to cause you to change your behaviours. You are still
killing each other, condemning each other, making each other “wrong”. And, in
fact, it is your religions which have
been encouraging you to do so. So
with regard to religion, I merely observe that you say you want it to take you
to one place, and it is taking you to another.
Now
you say you want marriage to take you
to the land of eternal bliss, or at least to some reasonable level of peace,
security and happiness. As with religion, your invention called marriage does
well with this in the early going, when you are first experiencing it. Yet, as
with religion, the longer you reside in the experience, the more it takes you
where you say you don’t want to go. Nearly
half of the people who become married dissolve their marriage through divorce,
and of those who stay married, many are desperately unhappy. Your
“unions of bliss” lead you to bitterness, anger, and regret. Some- and not a
small number- take you to a place of outright tragedy.
You
say you want your governments to
ensure peace, freedom, and domestic tranquility, and I observe that, as you
have devised them, they do none of this. Rather, your governments lead you to
war, increasing lack of freedom, and
domestic violence and upheaval. You
haven’t been able to solve the basic problems of simply feeding and keeping
people healthy and alive, much less meet the challenge of providing them equal
opportunity. Hundreds
of you die every day of starvation on a planet where thousands of you throw
away each day enough food to feed nations. You
can’t handle the simplest task of getting the leftovers from the “Have’s” to
the “Have Not’s”- much less resolve the issue of whether you even want to share your resources more
equitably.
Now these are not judgements. These are
things which are observably true
about your society.
Why?
Why is it like this? Why have we made
so little progress in conducting our own affairs these past many years?
Years?
Try centuries.
Okay, centuries.
It
has to do with the First human Cultural Myth, and with all the other myths
which necessarily follow. Until they change, nothing else will change. For your
cultural myths inform your ethics, and your ethics create your behaviours. Yet
the problem is that your cultural myth is at variance with your basic instinct.
What do You mean?
Your
First Cultural Myth is that human beings are inherently evil. This is the myth
of original sin. The myth holds that not only is your basic nature evil, you were
born that way.
The
Second Cultural Myth, arising necessarily out of the first, is that it is the
“fittest” who survive. This
second myth holds that some of you are strong and some of you are weak, and
that to survive, you have to be one of the strong. You will do all that you can
to help your fellow man, but if and when it comes down to your own survival,
you will take care of yourself first. You will even let others die. Indeed, you
will go further than that. If you think you have to, in order for you and yours
to survive, you will actually kill others- presumably, the “weak”- thereby
defining you as the “fittest”. Some
of you say that this is your basic
instinct. It is called the “survival instinct”, and it is this cultural
myth that has formed much of your societal ethic, creating many of your group
behaviors. Yet
your “basic instinct” is not
survival, but rather, fairness, oneness, and love. This is the basic instinct
of all sentient beings everywhere. It is your cellular memory. It is your inherent nature. Thus is exploded your
first cultural myth. You are not
basically evil, you were not born in
“original sin”.
If
your “basic instinct” was “survival”, and if your basic nature was “evil”, you
would never move instinctively to
save a child from falling, a man from drowning, or anyone from anything. And
yet, when you act on your basic instincts and display your basic nature, and
don’t think about what you are doing,
this is exactly how you behave, even at
your own peril. Thus,
your “basic” instinct cannot be “survival”, and your basic nature is clearly
not “evil”. Your instinct and your nature is to reflect the essence of Who You
Are, which is fairness, oneness, and love. Looking
at the social implications of this, it is important to understand the difference
between “fairness” and “equality”. It is not a basic instinct of all sentient
beings to seek equality, or to be equal. Indeed, exactly the opposite is
true.
The
basic instinct of all living things is to express uniqueness, not sameness.
Creating a society in which two beings are truly equal is not only impossible,
but undesirable. Societal mechanisms seeking to produce true equality- in other
words, economic, political, and social “sameness”- work against, not for, the
grandest idea and the highest purpose- which is that each being will have the
opportunity to produce the outcome of its grandest desire, and thus truly re-create
itself anew.
Equality
of opportunity is what is required
for this, not equality in fact. This
is called fairness. Equality in fact, produced by exterior forces and
laws, would eliminate, not produce, fairness. It would eliminate
the opportunity for true self-re-creation, which is the highest goal of
enlightened beings everywhere. And
what would create freedom of
opportunity? Systems that would allow society to meet the basic survival needs
of every individual, freeing all beings to pursue self-development and
self-creation, rather than self-survival. In other words, systems that imitate
the true system, called life, in which survival
is guaranteed.
Now,
because self-survival is not an issue in enlightened
societies, these societies would never allow one of its members to suffer
if there were enough for all. In these societies self-interest and mutual best
interest are identical. No society
created around a myth of “inherent evilness” or “survival of the fittest” could
possibly achieve such understanding.
Yes, I see this. And this “cultural
myth” question is something I want to explore, along with the behaviors and
ethics of more advanced civilizations, later in greater detail. But I’d like to
double back one last time and resolve the questions I started out with here.
One of the challenges of talking
with You is that Your answers lead us in such interesting directions that I
sometimes forget where I began. But in this case I have not. We were discussing
marriage. We were discussing love, and its requirements.
Love has no requirements. That’s what makes
it love.
If
your love for another carries requirements, then it is not love at all, but
some counterfeit version. That
is what I have been trying to tell you here. It is what I have been saying, in
a dozen different ways, with every question you’ve asked here. Within
the context of marriage, for example, there is an exchange of vows that love
does not require. Yet you require them, because you do not
know what love is. And so you make
each other promise what love would never
ask.
Then You are against marriage!
I am
“against” nothing. I am simply describing what I see. Now
you can change what I see. You can
redesign your social construction called “marriage” so that it does not ask what Love would never ask, but
rather, declares what only love could
declare.
In other words, change the marriage
vows.
More
than that. Change the expectations on
which the vows are based. These expectations are going to be difficult to
change, because they are your cultural heritage. They arise, in turn, from your
cultural myths.
Here we go again with the cultural
myths routine: What’s up with You about this?
I am
hoping to point you in the right direction here. I see where you say you want
to go with your society, and I am hoping to find human words and human terms
that can direct you there.
May I
give you an example?
Please.
One
of your cultural myths about love is that it’s about giving rather than
receiving. This has become a cultural imperative. And yet it is driving you crazy,
and causing more damage than you could ever imagine. It
gets, and keeps, people in bad marriages, it causes relationships of all kinds
to be dysfunctional, yet no one- not your parents, to whom you look for
guidance; not your clergy, to whom you look for inspiration; not your
psychologists and psychiatrists, to whom you look for clarity; not even your
writers and artists, to whom you look for intellectual leadership, will dare to
challenge the prevailing cultural myth.
And
so, songs are written, stories are told, movies are made, guidance is given,
prayers are offered, and parenting is done which perpetuates The Myth. Then you
are all left to live up to it. And you
can’t.
Yet
it is not you that is the problem, it is The Myth.
Love is not about giving rather than
receiving?
No.
It isn’t?
No.
It has never been.
But You said Yourself just a moment
ago that “Love has no requirements.” You said, that’s what makes it love.
And
so it is.
Well, that sure sounds like “giving
rather than receiving” to me!
Then
you need to reread Chapter Eight of Book 1. Everything I’m alluding to here I’ve
explained to you there. This dialogue was meant to be read in sequence, and to
be considered as a whole.
I know. But for those who nevertheless
came to these words now without having read Book
1; could You explain, please, what You’re getting at here? Because,
frankly, even I could use the review, and I think I now understand this stuff!
Okay.
Here goes.
Everything
you do, you do for yourself.
This
is true because you and all others are One. What
you do for another, you therefore do for you. What you fail to do another, you
fail to do for you. What is good for another is good for you, and what is bad
for another is bad for you. This
is the most basic truth. Yet it is the truth you most frequently ignore.
Now
when you are in a relationship with another, that relationship has only one
purpose. It exists as a vehicle for you to decide and to declare, to create and
to express, to experience and to fulfill your highest notion of Who You Really
Are.
Now
if Who You Really Are is a person who is kind and considerate, caring and
sharing, compassionate and loving- then, when you are being these things with
others, you are giving your Self the
grandest experience for which you came into the body. This
is why you took a body. Because only in the physical realm of the relative
could you know yourself as these things. In the realm of the absolute from
which you have come, this experience of knowing is impossible. All
these things I’ve explained to you in far greater detail in Book 1.
Now
if Who You Really Are is a being who does not love the Self, and who allows the
Self to be abused, damaged, and destroyed by others, then you will continue
behaviours which will allow you to experience that. Yet
if you really are a person who is
kind and considerate, caring and sharing, compassionate and loving, you will
include your Self among the people
with whom you are being these things. Indeed,
you will start with yourself. You
will put yourself first in these
matters.
Everything
in life depends on what you are seeking to be. If, for instance, you are seeking
to be One with all others (that is, if you are seeking to experience a conceptualization
you already know to be true), you will find yourself behaving in a very
specific way- a way which allows you to experience and demonstrate your Oneness.
And when you do certain things as a result of this, you will not experience
that your are doing something for someone
else, but rather, that you are doing it for
you Self.
The
same will be true no matter what you are seeking to be. If you are seeking to
be love, you will do loving things with others. Not for others, but with
others.
Notice
the difference. Catch the nuance. You will be doing loving things with others, for your Self- so that you can actualize and experience your
grandest idea about your Self and Who You Really Are. In
this sense, it is impossible to do anything
for another, for every act of your own volition is literally just that: an “act”. You are acting. That is, creating and playing a
role. Except, you are not pretending.
You are actually being it. You
are a human being. And what you are
being is decided and chosen by you.
Your
Shakespeare said it: All the world’s a stage, and the people, the players.
He
also said, “To be or not to be, that is the question.”
And
he also said: “To thine own Self be
true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to
any man.”
When
you are true to your Self, when you do not betray
your Self, then when it “looks like” you are “giving”, you will know you
are actually “receiving”. You are literally giving yourself back to your Self. You
cannot truly “give” to another, for the simple reason that there is no “other”. If We are all One, then
there is only You.
This
sometimes seems like a semantic “trick”, a way to change the words around to
alter their meaning.
It is
not a trick, but it is magic! And it is not about changing
words to alter meaning, but changing perceptions to alter experience. Your
experience of everything is based on your perceptions, and your perception is
based on your understanding. And your understanding is based on your myths.
That is, on what you have been told. Now I
tell you this: Your present cultural myths have not served you. They have not
taken you where you say you want to go.
Either
you are lying to yourself about where you say you want to go, or you are blind
to the fact that you are not getting there. Not as an individual, not as a
country, not as a species or a race.
Are there other species which are?
Oh
yes, decidedly.
Okay, I’ve waited long enough. Tell me
about them.
Soon.
Very soon. But first I want to tell you about how you can alter your invention
called “marriage”, so that it takes you closer to where you say you want to go.
Do
not destroy it, do not do away with it- alter
it.
Yes, well, I do want to know about
that. I do want to know whether there is any
way that human beings will ever be allowed to express true love. So I end this
section of our dialogue where I began it. What limits shall we- indeed, some
would say must we- place on that
expression?
None.
No limits at all. And that is what your
marriage vows should state.
That’s amazing, because that’s
exactly what my marriage vows with Nancy
did state!
I
know.
When Nancy and I decided to get
married, I suddenly felt inspired to write a whole new set of marriage vows.
I
know.
And Nancy joined me. She agreed that
we couldn’t possibly exchange the vows that had become “traditional” at
weddings.
I
know.
We sat down and created new marriage
vows that, well, that “defied the cultural imperative”, as You might put it.
Yes,
you did. I was very proud.
And as we were writing them, as we
put the vows down on paper for the minister to read, I truly believe we were
both inspired.
Of course
you were!
Do you mean-?
What
do you think, I only come to you when you’re writing books?
Wow.
Yes,
wow.
So
why don’t you put those marriage vows here?
Huh?
Go
ahead. You've got a copy of them. Put them right here.
Well, we didn't create them to share
with the world.
When
this dialogue began, you didn't think any of it would be shared with the world. Go
ahead. Put them in.
It’s just that I don’t want people to
think that I’m saying, “We've written the Perfect Marriage Vows!”
All
of a sudden you’re worried about what people will think?
C’mon. You know what I mean.
Look,
no one says these are the “Perfect Marriage Vows.”
Well, okay.
They’re
just the best anyone on your planet’s come up with so far.
Hey-!
Just kidding. Let’s lighten up here.
Go
ahead. Put the vows in. I’ll take responsibility for them. And people will love
them. It’ll give them an idea of what we’re talking about here. Why, you may
even want to invite others to take these vows- which are not really “vows” at
all, but Marriage Statements.
Well, okay. Here’s what Nancy and I
said to each other when we got married . . . thanks to the “inspiration” we
received:
Minister:
Neale
and Nancy have not come here tonight to make a solemn promise or to exchange a
sacred vow.
Nancy
and Neale have come here to make public
their love for each other; to give noticement to their truth; to declare their
choice to live and partner and grow together- out loud and in your presence,
out of their desire that we will all come to feel a very real and intimate part
of their decision, and thus make it even more powerful.
They’ve
also come here tonight in the further hope that their ritual of bonding will
help us all closer together. If you
are here tonight with a spouse or a partner, let this ceremony be a reminder- a
rededication of your own loving bond.
We’ll
begin by asking the question: Why get married? Neale and Nancy have answered
this question for themselves, and they’ve told me their answer. Now I want to
ask them one more time, so they can be sure of their answer, certain of their
understanding, and firm in their commitment to the truth they share.
(Minister gets two red roses from table . .
.)
This
is the Ceremony of Roses, in which Nancy and Neale share their understandings,
and commemorate their sharing.
Now
Nancy and Neale, you have told me it is your firm understanding that you are
not entering into this marriage for reasons of security . . .
. .
. that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being
owned or possessed . . .
. .
. not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what you think
you need in life will be supplied by the other . . .
. .
. but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life . . . all the love,
all the wisdom, all the insight, all the power, all the knowledge, all the
understanding, all the nurturing, all the compassion, and all the strength . .
. resides within you . . .
. .
. and that you are not each marrying the other in hopes of getting these
things, but in hopes of giving these
gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance.
Is
that your firm understanding tonight?
(They say, “It is.”)
And
Neale and Nancy, you have told me it is your firm understanding you are not
entering into this marriage as a means of in any way limiting, controlling,
hindering, or restricting each other from any true expression and honest
celebration of that which is the highest and best within you- including your
love of God, your love of life, your love of people, your love of creativity,
your love of work, or any aspect of
your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy. Is that still
your firm understanding tonight?
(They say, “It is.”)
Finally,
Nancy and Neale, you have said to me that you do not see marriage as producing
obligations, but rather as providing opportunities . . .
. .
. opportunities for growth, for full Self-expression, for lifting your lives to
their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever
had about yourself, and for ultimate reunion with God through the communion of
your two souls . . .
. .
. that this is truly a Holy Communion . . . a journey through life with one you
love as an equal partner, sharing equally both the authority and the
responsibilities inherent in any partnership, bearing equally what burdens
there be, basking equally in the glories.
Is
that the vision you wish to enter into now?
(They say, “It is.”)
I
now give you these red roses, symbolizing your individual understandings of
these Earthly things; that you both know and agree how life will be with you in
bodily form, and within the physical structure called marriage. Give these
roses now to each other as a symbol of your sharing
of these agreements and understandings with love.
Now,
please each of you take this white rose. It is a symbol of your larger
understandings, of your spiritual nature and your spiritual truth. It stands
for the purity of your Real and Highest Self, and of the purity of God’s love,
which shines upon you now, and always.
(She gives Nancy the rose with Neale’s ring
on the stem, and Neale the rose with Nancy’s ring on it.)
What
symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promises given and received today?
(They each remove the rings from the stems,
giving them to the minister, who holds them in her hand as she says . . .)
A
circle is the symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the universe. It is a symbol
of holiness, and of perfection and peace. It is also the symbol of the
eternality of spiritual truth, love and life . . . that which has no beginning
and no end. And in this moment, Neale and Nancy choose for it to also be a
symbol of unity, but not of possession; of joining, but not of restricting; of
encirclement, but not of entrapment. For love cannot be possessed, nor can it
be restricted. And the soul can never be entrapped.
Now
Neale and Nancy, please take these rings you wish to give, one to the other.
(They take each other’s rings.)
Neale,
please repeat after me.
I ,
Neale . . . ask you, Nancy . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my
wife . . . I announce and declare my intention to give you my deepest
friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when
they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly Who You Are . . . but
when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you
are not . . . I further announce . . . before God and those here present . . .
that I will seek always to see the Light of Divinity within you . . . and seek
always to share . . . the Light of Divinity within me . . . even, and
especially . . . in whatever moments of darkness may come.
It
is my intention to be with you forever . . . in a Holy Partnership of the Soul
. . . that we may do together God’s work . . . sharing all that is good within
us . . . with all those whose lives we touch.
(The minister turns to Nancy.)
Nancy,
do you choose to grant Neale’s request that you be his wife?
(She answers, “I do.”)
Now
Nancy, please repeat after me.
I,
Nancy . . . ask you, Neale . . . (She
makes the same vow).
(Minister turns to Neale.)
Neale,
do you choose to grant Nancy’s request that you be her husband?
(He answers, “I do.”)
Please
then, both of you, take hold of the rings you would give each other, and repeat
after me: With this ring . . . I thee wed . . . I take now the ring you give to
me . . . (they exchange rings) . . .
and give it place upon my hand . . . (they
place the rings on their hands) . . . that all may see and know . . . of my
love for you.
(The Minister closes . . .)
We recognize
with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage
to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. Neither my church, nor any
power vested in me by the State, can grant me the authority to declare what
only two hearts can declare, and what only two souls can make real.
And
so now, inasmuch as you, Nancy, and you, Neale, have announced the truths
that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the
presence of these, your friends, and the One Living Spirit- we observe joyfully
that you have declared yourself to be.
. . husband and wife.
Let
us now join in prayer.
Spirit
of Love and Life: out of this whole world, two souls have found each other.
Their destinies shall now be woven into one design, and their perils and their
joys shall not be known apart.
Neale
and Nancy, may your home be a place of happiness for all who enter it; a place
where the old and the young are renewed in each other’s company, a place for
growing and a place for sharing, a place for music and a place for laughter, a
place for prayer and a place for love.
May
those who are nearest to you be constantly enriched by the beauty and the
bounty of your love for one another, may your work be a joy of your life that
serves the world, and may your days be good and long upon the Earth.
Amen,
and amen
I am so touched by that. I am so
honoured, so blessed, to have found someone in my life who could say those
words with me, and mean them. Dear God, thank You for sending me Nancy.
You
are a gift to her, too, you know.
I hope so.
Trust
Me.
Do you know what I wish?
No.
What?
I wish that all people could make
those Marriage Statements. I wish people would cut them out, or copy them, and
use them for their wedding. I bet we’d see the divorce rate plummet.
Some
people would have a very hard time saying those things-and many would have a
hard time staying true to them.
I just hope we can stay true to them! I mean, the problem with putting those
words in here is that now we have to live up to them.
You
were not planning to live up to them?
Of course we were. But we’re human,
just like everybody else. Yet now if we fail, if we falter, if anything should
happen to our relationship, or, good grief, we should ever choose to end it in its present form, all kinds of
people are going to be disillusioned.
Nonsense.
They’ll know that you are being true to yourself; they’ll know that you have
made a later choice, a new choice. Remember what I told you in Book 1. Do not confuse the length of
your relationship with its quality. You are not an icon, and neither is Nancy,
and no one should put you there- and you should not put yourself there. Just be
human. Just be fully human. If at some later point you and Nancy feel you wish
to reform your relationship in a different way, you have a perfect right to do
that.
That is the point of this whole
dialogue.
And it was the point of the
statements we made!
Exactly.
I’m glad that you see that.
Yes, I like those Marriage Statements,
and I’m glad that we put them in! It’s a wonderful new way to begin a life
together. No more asking the woman to promise “to love, honor, and obey.” It
was self-righteous, self-inflated, self-serving men who demanded that.
You’re
right, of course.
And it was even more self-righteous
and self-serving for men to claim that such male preeminence was God-ordained.
Again,
you are right. I never ordained any such thing.
At last, marriage words which really
are inspired by God. Words which make a chattel, personal property, out of no one. Words which speak the truth
about love. Words which place no limitations, but promise only freedom! Words
to which all hearts can remain true.
There
are those who will say, “Of course anyone can keep vows which ask nothing of
you!” What will you say to that?
I will say: “It is much difficult to
free someone than to control them. When you control someone, you get what you
want. When you free someone, they get what they
want.”
You
will have spoken wisely.
I have a wonderful idea! I think we
should make a little booklet of those Marriage Statements, kind of a little prayer
book for people to use on their wedding day.
It could be a small little book, and
it would contain not only those words, but a whole ceremony, and key
observations about love and relationship from all three books on this dialogue,
as well as some special prayers and meditations on marriage- which, it turns
out, You’re not against!
I’m so happy, because it started to
sound for a minute as if You were “anti-marriage”.
How
could I be against marriage? We are all married. We are married to each other-
now, and forever-more. We are united. We are One. Ours is the biggest marriage
ceremony ever held. My vow to you is the grandest vow ever made. I will love
you forever, and free you for everything. My love will never bind you in any
way, and because of this you are “bound” to eventually love Me- for freedom to
Be Who You Are is your greatest desire, and My greatest gift.
Do
you take Me now to be your lawfully wedded partner and co-creator, according to
the highest laws of the universe?
I do.
And do You take me now as Your
partner, co-creator?
I do,
and I always have. Now and through all eternity we are One. Amen.
And amen.
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