I feel as if I have two selves.
An Earthly self. A Universal self.
Why didn't I say 'an' Universal self? 'U' is a vowel too eh? Funny english -_- or funny me o.O?
The Earthly self makes itself apparent through petty thoughts surfacing,
Immediately after which the Universal self appears with a note- that's not what I am.
The Universal self feels like the sea, a constant presence of peace, like waves forming the backdrop to life.
The Earthly self is probably the rainbow, different shades diffused from the Universal self White.
Do I prefer one over the other?
I sure do love the sound of the Universal self though I can't deny the vibrancy of the Earthly self.
To prefer the Universal self would be to deny a million possibilities of being on Earth,
It would be a denial of the very purpose of life; that is, to Explore.
To forget the Universal self on the other hand, would be to forget that purpose,
To be on Earth and to mindlessly carry on life without any zest.
On another note,
I remember where that comes from! A jazz phrase. Thank you to you!
I feel that I am neither my soul, nor my body and not my mind either;
I get this sense as if I am
I am what? Does it suffice to say I AM?
And as if I HAVE
A soul, a body and a mind to work with here.

Do you get the feels?

As of 11-12-2013

This picture pretty much sums this post up eh?
Courtesy: A page on facebook called: Stories That Shocked The World, image titled as Boulder opal from Australia

Life is something like this 'boulder opal' innit? The earthly self is the brown (been pondering- Is there any colour more neutral than brown?) ze life on Earth; and the Universal self shows up in the cracks, ze life in an alternate reality that shines through in moments of magic ;-) What say you?


The atmosphere is rain-prepped outside and while I ponder a decision I need to make, I get an urge to read an old treasured book. I open a not-so-random random page and as it begins to rain lightly I start to read:

Will shook his head. "He really had you hooked."
The rain outside is getting excited.
"What do you mean?"
"You should have seen your energy field. It was flowing almost totally into his."
The rains are getting heavier
"I don't understand."
"Think back to Sarah's argument with the scientist at Vinciente....If you had witnessed one of them winning, convincing the other that he was correct, then you would have seen the loser's energy flowing into the winner's, leaving the loser feeling drained and weak and somewhat confused- the way the girl in the Peruvian family appeared and the way," he smiled, "that you look now."
"You saw that happening to me?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied. "And it was extremely difficult for you to stop his control of you and to pull yourself away. I thought for a minute you weren't going to do it."
"Jesus," I said. "That guy must really be evil."
"Not really," he said. "He's probably only half aware of what he's doing. He thinks he's right to control the situation, and no doubt he learned a long time ago that he could control successfully by following a certain strategy.
He first pretends to be your friend, (Here the rains were getting stronger) then he finds something wrong with what you're doing, (Rain pours heavier) in your case that you were in danger. In effect, he subtly undermines your confidence in your own path until you begin to identify with him. As soon as that happens, he has you."
...And here there was a crescendo- Bravo! As the truth (really?) of those confusing moments dawned on me. I can't say that I have made my decision but I sure am feeling lighter. Much much lighter as if these words of wisdom especially accompanied by the passionate downpour of the skies have taken some unknown weight off of me :-) And now I am smiling like an idiot feeling truly connected humbly knowing that the Universe is by my side...
You may read on- this book has some very interesting observations that may just provide you some answers you may be looking for?

We were silent for a few minutes, then Wil asked: "Do you understand what I said about Jensen not realizing what he was doing? He's no different from most people. He just does what makes him feel the strongest."
"No, I don't think I understand."
Wil looked thoughtful. "All this is still unconscious in most people. All we know is that we feel weak and when we control others we feel better. What we don't realize is that this sense of feeling better costs the other person. It is their energy that we have stolen. Most people go through their lives in a constant hunt for someone else's energy."
He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. "Although occasionally it works differently. We meet someone who at least for a little while will voluntarily send us their energy."
"What are you getting at?"
"Think back to when you and Marjorie were eating together at the restaurant in town and I walked in."
"I don't know what you two were talking about but obviously her energy was pouring into you. When I walked in, I could see it clearly. Tell me how did you feel during that time?"
"I felt good," I said. "In fact, the experiences and concepts I was relating seemed crystal clear to me. I could express myself easily. But what does that mean?"
He smiled. "Occasionally, another person will voluntarily want us to define their situation for them, giving us their energy outright, the way Marjorie did with you. It makes us feel empowered, but you'll see that this gift doesn't usually last. Most people- Marjorie included- aren't strong enough to keep giving energy. That's why most relationships eventually turn into power struggles. Humans link up energy and then fight over who is going to control it. And the loser always pays the price."
"You saw that when someone is dominating you psychically, they actually take your mind away. It was not as if you lost some intellectual debate with Jensen. You didn't have the energy or mental clarity to debate with. All your mental power was going to Jensen. Unfortunately this kind of psychic violence happens all the time throughout human culture, often by otherwise well-meaning people."
I just nodded. Wil had summarized my experience exactly.
Yet, once humans understand their struggle, the insight continued, we would immediately begin to transcend this conflict. We would begin to break free from the competition over mere human energy...because we would finally be able to receive our energy from another source.
I looked at Wil. "What's the other source?" I asked.
He smiled, but said nothing.

And here ends the chapter "The Struggle for Power"; a glimpse from The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. A recommended read. No, A HIGHLY recommended read.

Racing Alone

I'd like to share with you the Introduction from a book I happened to notice this evening, a book that I hope to get through before it is my time to leave this place. The title of the book is "Racing Alone" by Nader Khalili and here you will find the story of where the title came from (very encouraging and pretty inspiring too)


Midway in my life I stopped racing with others. I picked up my dreams and started a gentle walk.
My dreams were of a simple house, built with human hands out of the simple materials of this world: the elements - Earth, Water, Air, and Fire.
To build a house out of earth, then fire and bake it in place, fuse it like a giant hollow rock.
The house becoming a kiln, or the kiln becoming a house.
Then to glaze this house with fire to the beauty of a ceramic glazed vessel.

I touched my dreams in reality by racing and competing with no one but myself.
Horses don't race on their own; we make them race. They simply gallop to the speed of the wind when free and exalted.
Bees don't compete, yet they all get to taste the flower; and they produce nothing less than sweet honey.
Wings don't run a contest to elevate a bird to the heights, neither does a flock of birds, and yet they all achieve the sky.
We too are created not as masses to race, but as individuals to live and transcend.
There is an endless reserve of strength in every human to reach his goal, if only this strength is spent in achieving rather than racing and competing.

I was born and raised in the Eastern world and lived and worked in the West. I have had a chance to feel the sweet and bitter taste of the contrasting cultures. During the five years of racing alone, following my dreams and aspirations and writing this book, I discovered that:
*The joy of discovering and the ecstasy of creating brought with them a greater sense of achievement than any success I had gained before by racing and competing;
*My potential for coping with the struggles and agonies surpassed any limits known to me before;
*My quests became more meaningful when my goals met with others' needs and goals. And I became important, in my own heart, only when I reached the others, as a drop of water becomes important only when it reaches the sea.

I also saw that there is a greater message in the Air than what the wavelengths bring us; a greater power in the Water than the floods; a greater wealth in the Earth than diamonds; and a greater sense to the Fire than what we touch. And if we could see what magic lies in the Fire alone, this age could once again become the age of fire.

This is one of the many precious gems sprinkled around and I can't stop the urge to share it with you. Do watch out for such invaluable treasure, especially in and around yourself; and forget not to share it if you may please.